Post election tips for Republicans

For the last 8 years Republicans have had to endure, often irrational, criticism of President Bush. I could rarely engage in serious discussion over policy differences. Often the very mention of Bush caused BDS (Bush Derangement Syndrome) to suddenly explode out of my colleagues. Dialogues tended to go something like this:

Me: "So how do we as a society balance our civil liberties against the desire for a secure and safe America for her citizens."

You: (Pulse quickening)"Bush has destroyed our reputation in the world. Everyone HATES us!"

Me: "Ah, OK Everyone hates us. Who exactly hates us?"

You: (Eyes beginning to bulge) "EVERYONE!"

Me: "Well China and India who are most of the world's population and future dominant economies don't "hate" us and have maintained a very good relationship with America under President Bush.

You: (Blood pressure soaring) "Steve, your grasping for straws! When I say 'EVERYONE' I mean, you know, France and Germany...and maybe some of those other European countries. The countries that matter"

Me: (Calmly) "But didn't France and Germany elect pro-American leaders who had very good relations with President Bush?"

You: (False calm but veins in neck starting to go) "Even though our European brothers and sisters are much more sophisticated (pencil they are holding SNAPS) on International affairs than the average American, sadly, even they can be deceived. Just as we were in 2000 and 2004."

Me: "So there is no way we were deceived in 2008 as well? I mean history may judge President Bush a little more sympathetically, especially if a stable Iraq is achieved?"

You: (Full onset of Bush Derangement Syndrome) "Ahhhh...Bush gone!!...Guantanamo Bay Closed!!...Torture...Idiot gone...Idiot gone...(Psychotic laugh while exiting) "Obama...Obama...Obama...Obama..."

Me: (Dumbfounded at what just happened) "Ok...right?"

Now, it's important that those of us on the losing end of this election not to fall into this same trap. Because of that, I post the following blog entry from Andy Levy. I couldn't say it better.

My “To Don’t” List for the Right
by Andy Levy

The only thing worse than bad winners are sore losers, and we’ve had enough of them for the past eight years. So with that in mind, in the wake of today’s historic inauguration, here’s my Handbook For The Loyal Opposition, 2009 edition - a “To Don’t List,” if you will. Or even if you won’t.

DON’T question the motives - question the policy. When you disagree with Obama’s policies, say so, and make it clear why. But remember that President Obama is doing what he thinks is best for the country, as President Bush did. Both men love America and want what’s best for her. End of story.

DON’T make it personal. We don’t need another Derangement Syndrome. We don’t need people doing things like emphasizing Obama’s middle name in a derogatory fashion. How anyone would think that’s beneficial to their cause, or to the country as a whole, is beyond me. Also, it’s not even clever. Neither are smushwords like BusHitler, or sillywords like Rethuglicans and Dhimmicrats.

DON’T cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots. Sean Penn is an ass. No reason to be like him. ‘Nuff said. (Corollary: Don’t cozy up to and champion foreign dictators and despots and then act outraged when people question your patriotism.)

DON’T pretend you’re being brave when you criticize your government. Not while people in other countries actually, y’know, DIE, when they do that.

DON’T use the word “divisive.” At this point, all that word means is “You disagree with me,” and the English language gets mangled enough these days.

DON’T use the phrase “speaking truth to power.” EVER.

DON’T move to Canada.

DON’T say you’re going to move to Canada and then stay here. (I know it’s too late for Alec Baldwin, but not for the rest of you.)

DON’T apologize to foreigners and say things to them like, “I didn’t vote for Obama,” or “He’s not MY president.”

DON’T say or do everything in your power to drive this country apart and then claim you want unity when it’s your guy in power. This is like the convicted felon who conveniently finds God when he’s up for parole.

DON’T call people un-American one week, and then talk about how “We are not blue states or red states, we are the United States” the next. (This rule may only apply to Tom Hanks, but I put it in just to be safe.)

DON’T automatically think people who disagree with you are stupid or evil. Some of them are, of course. But most of them aren’t, and you might actually learn something if you listen to them.

And finally, DON’T use the fact that many on the left behaved abominably for the past eight years as an excuse to behave the same way. America needs adults. And if it bothered you when they did it, it’s a good sign that you shouldn’t do it.